Writing @ J.E

Writing my Blog @ J.E

Wow...so long no write in here lol as recently my com dwn lol.Mi still the same,every nite crying. Feeling so Stress as O's coming nearer and nearer...Haiz,everyday,mummy still the same,NAG,NAG,NAG...almost going crazy.Now and then always go out to study with my dear Priscilla.Thx for her accompany otherwise i going crazy ah as my mum also nag whenever i'm at home.So nowadays,i always stay out very late then go home.Reach home almost in the middle of the night as don't wish to hear her nagging.

I want to thx my friend,Ching Yi from Ngee Ann Poly as she helpsme in my E-maths otherwise i wana give up de.She helps me by giving me free tuition.We known each other not very long and we met at Suntec Mac,she asked us to help her to do SURVEY,and she opt out the question if we need help in studies.So kind of her.

She helps me clear my doubts in my E-maths,and now starting to regain my confidence in maths...Pray that i will pass with good grade so that i won't dissappoint her. :-)

Today,i go school.Finally ah as about a week so,no go school wor...Today,i get back my E-maths paper for Prelim and i so happy as i finally in my life in BMC,i pass my maths paper,although i just pass by 2 marks,i still happy lol...Haha....Lalalala....

Tomorrow,meeting Ching Yi and Priscilla for Tuition...Haha... but stress again as going back to study but also happy as someone can clear more of my doubts in maths...HURRAY!!!

Crying

Crying

Monday night,i cried as whatever i studied,it just can't get into my BRAIN CELL...I was so fed up and stressed up...I cried for an hour plus before i stopped completely...I even asked GOD,why u do this to me?Am i not ur daughter anymore?I questioned Him...OF COURSE...there's no answer to it...Am i stupid???I even asked myself this question???After i cried,i lied on my bed,closed my eyes and slept for awhile.Then i woke up and went to watch TV...I'm not going to study since it can't get into my BRAIN.I slept around 2 plus in the morning.

Today,i just went into my class with empty knowledge as i did not studied for it.

Today is E-Maths paper...I wanted to give up my paper 1 since i did not know how to do it but my friend who sit beside me,called Huiwen,encouraged me,asking me to try and try.At last,i can't try out le so i decided to hand in the paper 1 with 5 blanks...Paper 2,at least i can do some of the questions but i still left blanks in between.

After i finished my paper,i took train to WEST MALL as i mit my friend,Tiffany. While i was waiting for her,i mit JieYing as she was waiting for her friend...After i mit my friend,i took MRT back to Boon Lay and took bus 187 to 7-11 as i was to report at 7.30pm.

I worked till 11.30pm.When i reached home,i had a quick shower before i do my blog...

So Tired Today

Tiring Day!!!

Today,i woke up at around 11.30am ba...Long hours of sleep sia...Almost half of my days were sleeping,haha...So tired as i worked from Wedenesday night to Sunday evening...5 days of countinueing of work...

Now,i feeling bored,nothing to do.Don't ask me to go study as whatever i study,it just don't get into my brain cells...Tomorrow is my start of prelim days and i still can day-dreaming here and can say nothing to do,bored...Haha...

Still wondering whether should i go for my E-Maths paper tomorrow as during Mid-year exam,i study so hard but still fail.IN my entire life,failed so badly,20%!!!U must be surprised,till now i still can't accept it.If i failed my Maths paper,i get the most is 40% plus but now this year.i get 20%...Wao Kao...

Feel whether am i really stupid or not fated to study more??I feeling vexed now...HAO FAN AH!!!!!!!!!I wana thanks to my friends who encouraged me,asking me not to give up.Thanks for your help.I'm grateful but just fated to be stupid la.

Dying Soon

Dying Soon

Today,i worked early in the morning till evening...Wah...long hours sia...During work,i kept making mistakes.I think my manager endured my mistakes and did not scold me as she saw me very tired.Wah...

After my work around 7 plus,i went downstair to buy dinner for my grandma and then bring back home.After that,i went downstairs to buy my dinner and stayed downstair with Jennifer and Weili.Wah...quite long time no went downstair to chat and played cards liao...Its seems so great...:-)...

A Long Day For Me

Damn tiring

Yesterday night,i did not sleep till around 5.45am then i dozed off to sleep. I was awoke the whole night searching for my bible HIGH and LOW as i couldn't remember where did i put it?Haha...and also thought what Sabie Msn me... I cried when i off the com with Sabie and called my gap...I couldn't sleep.

I woke up at 6am...Wao Kao...Onli few minutes of sleep...Today done quite stupid mistake when working...Haiz... :-( My manager even asked me what i did the night,no sleeping.I said i was looking for my bible as i can't remember where did i put it?She looked surprise as she said its HOLY BOOK,u can't anyhow put???

I told her that that time decided not to go back to CHURCH,so anyhow throw lol...

I ended work around 3.30pm and i went for cell group,i reached around 5pm. During the worship time,i cried again till i couldn't clean it off...After the cell group,i needed to go back to work again as no staff as one of the staff took MC.

After my work,i called Esther but she called me to call Shimin's hp as her hp is low coz she is at her hse...When i called shimin,she told me she is having headache and i was shocked and immediately asked her she got eat panadol. She said no panadol at home so i quickly turned my face to 7-11 to buy panadol and go down to her hse...

When i reached Shimin's hse,Esther opened the door for me.After awhile,Norvin,her god-bro came down by cab then we together took Shimin to see doctor near my hse.After seeing doctor,we went to eat as Shimin had not eaten and also she had to eat medicine.After eating,Shimin stayed at Esther hse,while i went back home and Norvin also went back home...

Pray that Shimin will be well soon!!!

Going Church

Going Service

This morning,i couldn't woke up for my class.But i still go and i reached school 9am...Half-hour late...When i first step into the class,teacher said Wow..Alicia long time no see you coming for my lesson?I said working lol...can't wake up!!

After lesson,rushed to work as my manager had meeting at the headquarter.I reached at about 12.30pm and started my work till 7pm where Esther came and we go church together.

During the service,worshipping God,i cried...First time cry so like that...When we sang the song "HEARTS OF WORSHIP".All my memories came back to me when Sabrina,Isabel,Geraldine.Ivan,Nan Yen... we all in W192.How they encourage me,stay by my side,trusting each other,helping each other....All the funs,we had during our cell groups time...Esp.when Sis Selena give out the receipts of tithing,she will call Geraldine full name...and i will laugh inside my hearts but smile outside...All the laughters and their calls...All flashed in me...

Once,i felt love again but after the service,i'm back to reality...How i wish i'm not back in reality?

I still wonder,should i go back to His presence once again or should i left totally?Anyone can tell me?I'm lost and scare...Really don't know what path should i take?

Last minutes working again

Last Minutes Yesterday nite,i slept around 3-4am as after my work,i have to go back to study my Chinese Spelling.In the end,i can't wake up for my lesson in the morning.I set my alarm @ 7am then i called my gap to wake up,after that i doze off to sleep.Around 7.30am,my mum came into my room to wake me up.I waked up and even sat on my bed.After my mum saw me woke up,she went off to work and i dozed of to bed again and not even waking up.Haha... I slept till around 11am then i woke up from my sleep.I knew that's the end as i no go for my class... Around 4pm,my manager called me and asked me to work as one of my collegues sick so i have to help him.He is my god-brother.He is having fever and today also Flow-thru...Oh dear!!! Around 5 plus in the evening,Esther Msn me asking whether want to go for dinner and to surprise Min...So we met 6pm and decided to go down to surprise Min at her house but in the end,Esther messaged her that we are going down...No Surprise...Haiz... At Min house,we had our dinner after that we went to her room to play cards for awhile before i went to work and she do her report... We had a great time playing...After playing,i went to work and Min do her report...

Last minutes Work

Last Minute ,Go to Work Yesterday,i went for my math lesson as long time no go for my math lesson lol. When i reached school,i did not immediately went up instead i messaged my friend so we can go up together.Our lesson started @ 8.30am but we go out 15 minutes later. After we went to class,we took our maths notes and signed our attendance then we went off.The teacher saw us walking off,but did not said anything...We walked to the other class for Chinese as we both long time no go for Chinese. We stayed there for our Chinese lesson and it ended at 10.30am.After the lesson,i even told the teacher that i will be there tomorrow. Around 5.40pm,Esther called me and asked me to go for dinner with her and Min.Around 7.20pm,my manager from 7-11 called and asked me to go work. Wow...again last minute called.Haha...Min and Esther told me not to go work as tomorow i'm having Chinese Spelling but i just go to work as the new staff don't know what to do.So i worked from 9pm till 11.30pm. Before i went to work,i called my friends to help me take notes if there's any as i worked till quite late and tommorrow maybe not going to school. During my work,my manager gave me towels and some disposable cameras and after my work,i have to bring back home.Wow...great can take pictures. Haha...Wow...long time no take pictures lol.... After i reached home,i stayed up to study my Chinese Spelling til quite late then this morning,i can't even open up my two tiring,sleepy eyes so i dozed off again.When i woke up,its already 11am lol.Wow...so late ah...

Cinema Cinema

Cinema Today,i wake up @ 8.30am and turned on the com to start writing my blog down.Last night,ard 1am,my nose started to bleed and i as usually lifted up my head but it did not go off so i hold my breath and started to sms Mint to tell her wat am i suoppose to do as it's bleed non-stop.After a while,i tried to use tissue to put into my nose and lifted up my head see wether the blood will go off.But it didn't.So i went to the washroom to wash my nose with water at last...it stopped bleeding but i can't breath as the water was insid emy nose.Oh dear!I had to breath through my mouth.After that,i sms Mint to tell her that the blood has stopped and what method i using...Can't Breath Method,this is my own method.Haha... After a while,Mint sms me again asking me am i alright?I sms her back that i was not really alright as can't breath very diffcuilt to breath and sleep at the same time. But don't know what time,i struggled till i sleep... Hmm...Later on going to watch Movie with my darling friend,Peiling so i decided not to go skool as today lesson is quite bored...Haha...me naughty hor...I also know that...Haha... Wow...Today the show is super nice..."Herbie:fully loaded",u all better go watch.Its such a nice show.I love the show very much ah.... After the show,my friend and i waited for her auntie as she wanted to go buy guitar. After we mit her,we went to Peace Centre to buy her guitar.While walking to Peace Centre,my mum called me and say my Nokia 6610i hp is here.She helped me register.I was so happy...Yeah...New handphone... Later of the night when i reached home,i quickly stored all my friends number into the new handphone.I stored till 4 in the morning and the next day,i woke up @ 7am as i have to go school...Wow...3 hours of sleep sia.Will be very tired.

Today's Event

Today's Event

Today i woke up @ 10am.Oh dear,late for skool liao...Quickly,i go bath and dwn to skool...While walking to MRT station,i turned on the CD which i got yesterday from the Church and listened to it while i was smoking the way.that's one part which worship God,i suddenly wanting to quit smoking.I even threw away my cig to the rubbish bin.Haha...Never thought of that before...

When i reached skool,its 11.10am and i reached the classroom,teacher was not here yet.She came in @11.15am,5mins later than me.Haha...

This class is Principal Of Accounts(P.O.A).When the teacher passed me worksheet and asked us to do.I was the only one who stared at the celing or i just smile and smile as i can't speak much of my throat...

After the class,i still eat Mac no doubt of my throat as i was in craving of it. Haha...Then i went to Jurong East with Hui Wen to look for her boyfriend and then we daparted from there as i was going to Jurong Point to but battery at Pasar Malam...

After that,i went into Jurong Point to walk walk.I went into Life bookshop to buy something.Then i went to Sembawang CD shop to buy CDs...
After that,its already 5.20pm and i quickly walk to the path where chartered bus is...As the last bus is 5.30pm...So i was taking the last bus,it was full of people...When i reached home,it was already going to be 6pm lol...

When i reached home,i immediately turned on the com to write my blog.Haha...

Sick Gal

Sick Gal,Sob...Sob...

Haiz..Today sick ah...but still going ChC...as wanting to go.I woke up @ 10am to prepared myself as today going church.Supposely Esther going with me but she called and said she was having headache.

After receiving her call,i set out to church.I meeting Mint @ 11.15am @ attributes.Then we went dwn to service.When we were in the Auditorium,Sis Selena called us so we went.

After the praise and worship,i wanting to vomit so i left my place to the restroom.There's 1 lady ursher chasing after me,asking how i feel?I wanted to tell her i'm feeling unrite but i can't as i afraid i will vomit out.

During the service,there's Altar Call about Dispointment...Mint responded and Sis Selena followed her.

I wanting to go back to God but i'm scared and frightened.Shd i go back to Him or Shd i left Him and go my way???

When i reached home,my mum asked me today why no working?I replied her MC as having sore throat.After a while,she asked me again and i replied her in a soft mood as my throat is giving me problem,pain pain...Don't know what went wrong,i quarrelled with her.In the end,i cried as my throat is even painer than before...Sob..Sob...I feel my mum don't care for me anymore le,as she not like last time so care of me...I felt lost and hate to be here.Why must I be here??Why???Anyone can tell me???

I'm so scared and frightened.Why must i born in this world with no fatherly love and now going to have no motherly love le....I wanting to cry...I feel so hurt and don't wish to tell anyone so i decided to write here.

Oh Dear,what shd i do???Where is my Dreams,Visions?Where are there???

Cooking Breakfast for My Family And my Gap

Cooking

As usual,i slept 3am in the morning,better than last night.Haha...I set my alarm @ 8am in the morning so that i can cook for my family and my gap.

Ring...Ring...Ring....My alarm rang and as usual,almost smashed it dwn the floor.But i did not do it as this alarm i love best...But i still went back to slp till 8.15am then i woke up from my bed and quickly wash-up.

After wash-up,i went to the market opposite my block to buy indigrents for my cooking.After buying finished,i went to 7-11 to inform my collegues abt this regular lady customer who always come dwn to buy paper to reserved for her.Unfortunately,my collegues doesn't knw,so i told her that later she will come and find her.

After i left 7-11,i went to find this regular lady customer as she works near my hse downstair book store.After explaining to her that today,i work afternoon shift,i went back home to prepare my foods.

After i finished my cooking,i sms my gap but she reply me that she has eaten.I was feeling sad but not angry.@ ard 2pm,i went to bath as later have to work.

After i finished bathing,i felt that...Oh dear,again not feeling well.But i still went to work as not enough staff.

When i reached 7-11,i bought panadol and eat it.Ard 9pm,i can't take it le...so i told my boss that i go see doctor.Always like that,Exam coming kenna sick...Haiz....What to do,this is my life...

Doctor gave me MC and said that i have THROAT VIRUS INFECTION...

So Tired

So Tired,Feel like no ENERGY

Last night,i slept @ 5am in the morning which means today 5am...Wa...can't sleep no matter hw i tossed myself or said to myself,u hv to slp.
In the end,i no go for my morning class which is Eng,Haiz.. Again miss tt lesson.I missed tt English lesson for don't knw hw many weeks le...Haha...

Damn shit,today supposed to gif Mint morning call @ 7am but in the end,i woke up @ 7.30am.Don't knw if she late for her work anot??

After i give morning call to Mint,my mum knocked @ my door and asked me rem to go for class and ask me to do this and that.I was so worked up,i screamed @ my mum saying i know all this la....Damn lol...always like that,every morning will start all her words then in the end i can't slp...

But today,i actually slept after all her blar blar blar...In the end,i woke up @ 10am.Oh dear,again late for class....so i quickly bath and walked out of my house...

This morning,so Kuai...no smoke...Haha...

My class started @ 11am,thought i will be late but in the end,i reached @ 10.50am...Tym passed fast and it was 11am le,but my Chemistry teacher,Joni,we called her "cher" havn cm so i decided to walked to the office to hv a look.She was there taking her notes.I apologised to her as Mon,i no go for her lesson as mostly her lesson,i will be there unless i'm sick or overslept la...

After my lesson of Chemistry,"cher" asked me to wait for her so we can sit MRT together...

While waiting for her to put her things in the office,i can't take it le...i took out my cig and started to light up and smoke....Haha...sorry la...Really can't take it le....keep yawning and wanting to doze off....

After we reached Boon Lay,we walked to bus interchange to take our bus back...
While waiting for my bus,i called Jennifer to ask her if she wana eat.But she ans she is sleepin so she don't wana.So in the end,i bought porridge and brought bk hm to eat.

when i reached hm,i turned on my com and then put my bag on the table as lata @ 6.30pm,i hv to go work...

So tired...Don't feel lk gg to work,feel lk gg to report sick but i no do tt lol as they nw short of staff and i can't do it aniway...Haha

After a while,Jennifer called me and said tt lata she cm my hse and i said ok...
Ard 4pm,she wanted to go bk hm so tt i can sen her songs...Haha.....

Ard 5.45pm,i shut off my com and started to prepare to go work.I go bath and ten gel up my hair.Ard 6.15pm,i walked dwn to my lift and off to work...

When i reached the store,my manager called me and asked is it my hp being cut off and i replied her,Ya,wat's up???

After tt she said she wanted to go hm and rest as her leg is in pain so asked me to look after the store for her.

Later of the nite,there's 1 new guy called Nickey something lk tt la..cane to report to work.I hv to guide him but he was a fast learner.Hope he can stay long so we can rest more.Haha...

Mum can stop your NAGGING

Can Stop It!!!!

Yesterday night again,my mum nagged.I can't take it anymore,I wana go Crazy ah....Anyone can help me??She has already nagged for the past 1 week le.I feel like why she wana nagged and nagged over small little things.When i'm at home,she nagged that i no study,ok.,then i go study,she nagged at me,no helpped her do housework always on computer online play.I was so fed up with her.I just on few minutes,she start nagging.I started to qurraelled with her.Then i just go downstair to relax,she start nagging again,saying i always went down.What is it,man? Can't i go down????
I study,she nag.I go downstair,she nag.I go downstair to study,she also nag.I go out,she nag.What the hell is this???I wana go crazy soon if she still like that.Help!!!!!!

Teacher's Day Journey

Happy Teacher's Day!!!

Today is Teacher's Day Eve,31/08 and i woke up at 10am.After i woke up,i on the computer to play game,Maple Story but in the end,they are having maintence,so sian nothing to do...So i play Solitaire instead.After a while,Sis Selena online and i wished her Happy Teacher's Day on MSN.She replied me and even asked me to go back to church.I replied her maybe next Friday,i'm going back.Maybe only wor...But she replied how about this week and i replied this week i have to work on Friday,Saturday and Sunday...unless i'm sick...And later she no replied me.

I switched off the computer at 12pm and turned on the TV to watch show.As there's no interesting show,i kept tuning the channel till this particular show at Cinemax ,which interested me.I didn't know the name of the show but it's about children who have interllectually problem going to school in the school bus who got hijacked...It's a quite interesting show and mostly this type of show,i will watched no matter how late it's shown on TV or movies...Haha

After the show,it was 2pm.Jennifer,my friend called me and i asked her weather she wanted to go town with me to pass things to someone.She replied ok.So we mit 2.45pm at Blk 442,coffeeshop and then we went to take bus 502 to NTUC Union.When we reached the place,i asked the security which level is City Harvest Education Centre?He replied me 7th floor so Jennifer and i took the lift to 7th floor.When we reached the place,i asked Jennifer to wait for me outside and i walked in to the office and told the receptionist to pass the things to the teachers for Teacher's Day.She told me to put on the sofa afterward she will bring into the office.I thanked her and walked out.After that,we went to the nearest Kopitam to have our lunch,after our lunch we walked to Plaza Singapura,Carrefour as i wanted to buy my Condition as mine has finished.

While walking to Plaza Singapura,Jennifer's one of the contact lens dropped so we walked to the restroom first...After that we went to Carrefour to buy my Condition.

After finished buying,we took bus 147 opposite Plaza Singapura to Clementi then we changed to IMM shutter bus in to IMM and took again shutter bus to Jurong Point.But while travelling to Bukit Merah,we decided to change bus 198 to Jurong Point instead.

While travelling in the bus,there's this teenage girl around 18 or 19 years old sit behind Jennifer and me started to take out an orange small plastic bag and started to sniff.At first,we thought she wanted to vomit but in the end we realised that she was sniffing glue...I tried to bear with the smell but it was too heavy,after a while i took out a piece of paper and started to write i wanted to vomit and passed to Jennifer.She looked at the paper and said there's no place in the front but i said i wanted to vomit out.In the end,we moved out of the place.After a while,i started to have headache till now,while writting blog.

After we reached Jurong Point, we went to MacDonald to buy bugers then went to opposite Jurong Point the small park where there's playground and at the playground,there's swing.We played cards there first,after around 8 plus near to 9pm,the swing then nobody played.i walked to the swing and started to swing.Halfway through playing,i wanted to vomit so i stopped playing.

Around 10pm,we walked backed to Jurong Point and took bus 198 back home.

Now it's 12.20am,my headache is getting worse le...Oh dear,i even wanting to vomit ah...Help!!!